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about

This is an inner monologue right after a fight.

This song was the first to be written in my now standard CGCEGE open tuning on guitar, which was inspired by one of Joni Mitchell's many open tunings.

lyrics

And then you share with me your wishes and desires
And I get furious and mad out of the blue
And even though you are the one I so admire
I can't control the fear and harm that it may do

I can't find out where all this fear and angst may come from
I cannot see beyond my shady inner ways
But what I know is that this isn't where I come from
I'm set to seek the light not only in my days

I know that I have to embrace
the 19 year old boy in me
But I can’t help but slap his face
So things will never change indeed

It's not that I won't share your wishes and desires
Sometimes I secretly allow myself to dream
But all these dreams are buried deeply in a mire
of insecurities that sometimes turn out mean

I know that I have to embrace
the 19 year old boy in me
But I can’t help but slap his face
So things will never change indeed

I know that I have to embrace
the stately man i grew to be

Someday we’ll live all of our wishes and desires
It may take time with me I ask you to forbear

credits

from I Believe In Rainbows, released November 4, 2016

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about

Martin Rotheneder image

Martin Rotheneder Saint Pölten, Austria

Songwriter, Gitarrist und Sänger aus St. Pölten. Formerly known as Soulitaire, Ben Martin, I Am Cereals oder The Black Riders.

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